When Rasmus Lerdorf first put PHP together, he - quite sensibly, despite his heritage - chose not to write it in Greenlandic or Danish. [...] He opted instead, being in Canada at the time, for the local tongue. No, not French - that bastard dialect of the Queen's English commonly referred to as "US English". PHP developers in Britain have been grumpy about this ever since. What was he thinking?

Suggestions include replacing the $ with £, more correct "Hello worlds" and comments on abbreviations in function names, eloquence in control structures, spelling, manners and class(es). Check out the comments for more lovely puns.